did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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