and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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