Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
