I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize