I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize