Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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