I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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