We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
