But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
