Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
