She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
