in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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