Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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