I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
