also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
