I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
