did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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