It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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