So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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