I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
