Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
