rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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