I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
