i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
