States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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