Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
