My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
