I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
