Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
