For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am available for nakedness
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
