We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
