Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
