I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
