I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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