She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
