I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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