maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
