we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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