Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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