i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
