so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
