If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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