And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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