"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You took a bar mat shot.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
