she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
