I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
