my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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