What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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