He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Houston, we have a squirter
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize