That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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