We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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