never play flip cup with pint glasses
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
