508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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