You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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