I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
