i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
