the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
