i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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