capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
