I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
