watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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