I'm going to jail i love you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
