at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You can't motorboat a personality
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
